Working Hard

And it's weekend again.

morning I talked with Tarmo before leaving to my class. After my first class I went to the library to read for my Neurobiology exam and Kaisa came there too. We were supposed to go to Kalona Fall Festival later that day (at 6 pm) but Kaisa said that she'll go with the earlierOn Friday I had the most hectic day ever. In the group (3 pm) to there so that she wouldn't miss the homecoming parade. Meike had already said that she'll change the group too but I had my Endocrinology until 3:20 pm. But I started to think that I don't want to miss the parade either. So after lunch we went to ask if there still was seats left on the first group and half an hour before we were supposed to leave, we found out that there will be two cars going so we can go with the earlier group! So we went home to get our school stuff off and change bags because we were going straight from Kalona to the parade. So we left and on our way we visited a cheese factory. There we saw the only Amish people, there were no Amish people at the Kalona festival. The area was small and reminded me of Finnish markets, there was food and antiques. We were ready to leave after 1,5 hours but we had to wait for the others. So we made it just and just to the parade and after that we went to see a free concert. In the middle of the concert we left to eat something and after that we met the others and listened other concert. There was Minus Six again at the town so we went to Q-bar to listen to them and I was back home at 2 am.
I put my eye pads on my eyes so that I could sleep late the next day.

So I woke up today at 9.30 am when Ashleigh left to the game. I went to watch the game at Kaisas place (we lost). After that I came back home, talked again with my mother in law (they showed their new home via webcam!) and took a nap because I was really tired and my head ached. I really appreciate the Finnish bars now, the smoke makes my head ache, I drank only one drink and it took 2 hours for me to finish it so I didn't have a hang over! :D But after napping I felt better, made some food and actually managed to read some Neurobiology ^^

I had a dream few nights ago that my mom cried a lot. I need to ask if she's okay when we talk next time.

And I've been missing home. Sometimes I feel like I would just like to crawl in my bed, go under the blanket and be there in warm. I feel like I would like to be alone, curl up in to fetus position and be in my own thoughts. But I know that's not a good thing to do so I don't do that. Instead I study hard and try to be social. Though being perfectionist (and not so sure how much I need to study to get good grades), studying takes now time from my socializing. But I heard that local students don't take many science courses at a time because they require a lot work (which I've noticed) and that the basic courses are harder in grading so that the people that are not smart enough will drop. But luckily working has always been my way to "grief". If you can call this grieving :D



82 days and I see my baby again. And two days for our half a year anniversary (from our engagement)... Kalona was hard place, there were babies all over! And they all were behaving and so cute :> I need to write an e-mail to my professor and ask about my graduation... I need to ask if I need one course and when do I need to apply for the PhD place... I am beginning to realize that I am actually going to graduate. That's quite scary! I remember the time it seemed that I would just study forever... Though after graduating I will still study :D But at least I get some money.

I love the peace in here. Everyone is partying after the game.

STUPID EXAM

Ok, the Developmental Biology exam was AWFUL!!! It was 12 pages and we had 1 hour 15 minutes time to do it! There actually was a question: Who kept the lecture on 25th September? (We had two different professors) and questions like In this writers paper they came in some conclusions (and these conclusions weren't mentioned), what were they and what controls did they do and why? For fuck sake!!! We had three different papers and I did read them but how the fuck am I supposed to remember who was the writer??? And we had to design some experiments so it wasn't only short answers, so it took time to answer. So an hour and fifteen minutes?? 12 PAGES??? ARGH! I really didn't have time to think the last questions because I thought the exam time was the normal 2 hours and after 45 minutes they said, you have half an hour time. And I had several pages still empty!!! Though I know I knew some things and even the Americans couldn't have finished by the time so I'm not the only one but what is the point making questions no one can answer (or have time to answer) and ask stupid questions like who kept the lecture??? Easy points from that but it took still time to read the question and answers! So stupid... But now I know that my moan about this same thing earlier wasn't in vain... THIS IS SO STUPID!

But I believe I did well enough. I'd better do, my brains hurt. So I went to eat and came home. Poor Kaisa has still one more exam for today and she's sick :( I figured that I don't have to read today, I'll start the neurobiology tomorrow... I'll just rest this evening.

I heard yesterday that my friends dad had passed away :( and she's quite unhappy and it made me hope that I'd be in Finland and able to give her a hug <3 I also talked again with my mother in law (god bless this internet) and their house is finally ready and she told me that they have two quest rooms, one for their daughter and one for us (meaning Tarmo and me). She said actually for us, and it made me feel so good ^^ I don't know why but I was so touched!

I'm still planning for the future... Besides the family stuff I've been thinking what I will do after graduation. I hope I can get a PhD place from our university but if I don't, what then? Someone promised me last Winter that I could go to their company to do some toxicity tests so that would be one option. I'm also hoping that I have enough time to do some practice in some company (we can do that via university before graduation) so that I'd get to know that side too... and some people and maybe get job... I don't know. But it's good to have some plans.

I talked (I mean talked, actually talked) with Tarmo today. It made me happy again :) But we can't do that too often, we don't have the time and every time I speak with him I start missing him more and more. And if I talked with him every day so that I heard his voice, I'd be depressed because of the longing. I had a dream last night that I went into his lap and it was so warm to be there... Then I woke up because of the alarm clock :(

Expressing Mother Genes

Okay, this is the thing I was moaning yesterday:

I read the whole weekend to the developmental biology exam (and not to the behavior exam because developmental biology is more interesting, though I had the behavior exam today...) and learned the major things we've gone through so far. And I learned those things so that I really understood them but then I saw the last years exam and I got depressed and angry! The exam was full of details! And only details! Well okay, mainly details but still! You can't measure your BASIC knowledge by asking questions about little details, the course is INTRODUCTION to Developmental Biology! Details are for more advantaged people (and obviously for smarter people than me...)
But anyway, that was the thing blogger.com decided to delete last night... And so I had my Animal Behavior exam today and it actually went better than I expected (because I lost my motivation for reading because of the detail questions). Though I didn't answer for two questions (I just couldn't remember two terms and I had absolutely no clue about C. elegans mechanoreceptors molecular basics and how touching with eyelash affects ti those molecules... though I do remember the professor mentioning researchers without eyelashes... :D). And I wasn't sure about few of the questions but mainly I knew the answers, so at least I passed (I hope). I actually heard some guy complaining about the exam on neurobiology discussion after the exam :D
And yeah, in here you write only your student number on the exam, no names! And you don't need to show any ID when you return the exam...

And I started menstruating today! Two days earlier than normally! I think it's because of my mother genes are expressed more actively than normally (yes, I've been reading genetics :D) No but really I think it has something to do with my mental disorder I've had lately...

I talked with my mom today and she sounded a bit worn out... I wonder what's wrong... It might be because of the water damage that stresses her and it starts to get dark in Finland now and people get depressed... I hope she'll get better! It was raining the whole day today and when I came back home, it was already dark and the streets were wet and full of yellow leaves, Fall, just like in Finland! And it was quite cold!

I need to start to go through my notes for the damned INTRODUCTION to Developmental Biology exam... I have the exam on that on Thursday, then I have to start go through my Neurobiology notes and read the chapters and after than exam (next Wednesday) I need to catch up everything and then (or even before I finish catching up...) it's time for Chicago! We even bought tickets for a ice hockey game there! And we're going to stay at Melissas relatives :) and on this Friday we'll go to Kalona Festival! It's kind of Amish festival that's near here. And on Friday night we'll go to see Minus Six again!

And I got a letter from my niece today! She's like 12 or something (I'm sos bad with ages, I can't even remember how old I am!) and asked what's my favorite food and when am I coming back ^^

Stupid Introduction

I got Finnish candy today! Never ever has salmiakki tasted this good <3

(part of post deleted because blogger.com didn't know how tho handle my pic and decided to erase half of my text and ARGH and I'm too tired to do that again... So it just continues from here and no pics this time :P)
...
because I felt that I should had learned only details and not the basics in detail...) Well I just need to see how it goes. And about the Animal Behavior course, since I spent so much time in developmental biology, I didn't have enough time to read for this course and I lost my interest because of the detail thing... Luckily I have some time to go through my notes tomorrow morning... And luckily I can take my classes as passed and not with grades... I just hope that I pass! I really prefer Finnish system. We have usually only one exam during the course and by knowing the basics you pass and by knowing details you get an A. But in here you have three to four exams in a course and they seem to ask mainly details... In Finland we have few questions where we have to define some things plus two to four essays (real essays, you need to write two to four pages!) and it usually takes two hours to complete the exam. In here you have ten pages of multiple choices, some defines and short essays (meaning sentence or two!) and you complete the exam in an hour. And did I already mention the details??? In my opinion you can't measure your knowledge by details, you need to know the basics and big concepts and by details you show that you are smart and interested in that thing... It might seem easy but it's not, you really need to understand the big concept before you can understand the details! And what's that about grading people with Gaussian function??? That does not measure knowledge, if people are stupid, they are stupid and still get A's! (I just chatted with my suite mate for an hour so I lost my thoughts.) But I think that was enough anyway. And I'm starting to miss home. I've chatted with my mother in law and she sent me nice pictures of their new house and I'd just like to visit there... I'm starting to miss my own bed, my own kitchen... And I'm starting to miss Tarmo so much that occasionally it makes me depressed. I really need to keep myself busy now so that I don't get time to think too much. I still love Iowa City and I don't want to leave yet but this is getting worse... Maybe it's because now I have only my courses and I really don't have time for socializing anymore, at least not as much as I'd like to have... My normal day begins at 7:30 am (and I really wake up without alarm clock), I get up, make breakfast and back my bag and get ready, then I come to talk with Tarmo and then I go to my classes, after that I study and I get home at 8 pm. And by that time I'm just so tired that I'd just like to sleep but I try to do things and get bed at 10 pm. I don't like being at home because I don't like this room as much as I like my own house and I have my computer in here so I really can't concentrate in here. And it's noisy. Moan moan. Not really. I got chocolate and salmiakki!! But now I got stuck with my mouth again. And it's late enough so that I can go bed again! I have the same thing my dad has, if he's sad, he sleeps. Maybe that's why I'd just like to sleep.. Though I love sleeping :>

I've been thinking about future a lot. I've kind of started to realize that I'm going to graduate next Summer. And then I get money, at least a lot more money than I get now, and then I'm able to save some money! I already planned that I'd get my drivers license next Spring. I just need to start saving which means that I need to save in here too, but that's not hard, I don't have the time to do any shoppings anyway! And I could ask some money from my parents as my birthday and christmas gift... And then I'm graduating and we need to start planning ti get a car because we don't get the discounts anymore so it'd be worth of buying a car... And then... some family things I've been thinking... Oh I hate this baby boom! And then again I love it :D I'm crazy, I know.

But the bed. It calls me.

Three Months

Three months! It's three months for me to see my baby <3 1,5 months is over, that's half of the time that it ahead (see, I can do some maths ;) It will go by fast.

And I'm happy because Tarmo is much cheerier than he has been for a while. He got lots of food and some money :) Makes me cheerier too!

And I have to read the whole day for the Developmental Biology exam. I started yesterday and I got really interested. It's so interesting! I wasn't always interested in it because I didn't understand gastrulation etc, but now I do and it's so fascinating! But I have a lot to read for the exam and I have my Animal Behavior exam next week too. Luckily it doesn't have that much reading in it though I need to have few days to go through all the notes...

See, I got motivated again :) I was just tired. And I'm not in my best when I'm tired. But the funny thing is that I laugh all the time. As Paola said (about Kaisas jumpiness): "I always scare her and Taina laughs." :D Though that is true. (I love you too Kaisa.) And Sira actually said that she'll miss that she can't localize me at our university by my laugh for a six months :D So I'm quite known for my laugh, though I try to think that as a positive thing :D

But I'll go back chatting with my babe and then I'll go to my class and then I'll go studying... Luckily I don't have my endocrinology class today, I can study longer. I also plan to go out tonight though I plan not to get drunk because I need to read tomorrow too... :P

I Know What Sunlotion Is

Something to report again :)

I had my first exam and it went ok. The professor asked some questions I didn't really expect but I knew the answers for most of the questions. At least I think so... We had 5 pages of questions on both sides of the papers, multiple questions, true/false or short answers. I was done in half an hour though I didn't believe it, so I checked my answers, didn't change anything and watched someone else to return their paper first. It was funny that people kept asking questions about the exam during the whole exam time (like some details about the questions or asked some clarifications), in Finland what you see is what you get. If there is not some mistakes about the question and you ask something about it, the professor just says that you see the question, answer to it...

I also had my first "proper" lab in animal behavior. Last time we just watches the March of the Penguins and wrote short proposal for that, today we played with zebra fishes. We had a male zebra fish alone in a tank and we were supposed to tease it with a fake female/male fishes and write down its behavior. In the end we wanted to repeat the trials but our fish got tired and was only interested in me :D (it stayed only in the corner that was on my side) I laughed that even the fish is interested in European girl :D

And I felt really special at the beginning of the week when people came to say to me that "Oh we missed you!" I was away only one weekend :D Tymon was best when he said that "Oh, the Asians are no use, you need to come to the bar with us!" I also talked with my mother in law today! She was visiting Tarmo today and we talked via Skype and webcam :) So I saw our kitties, Tarmo and my mother in law <3 It made me happy but it also made me miss home. Talking by just writing is easier though I love to hear Tarmos voice, but it makes me miss him and home more. Though time still goes by so fast, it's already Thursday night!

People are still teasing me about my red face. "You know what sunlotion is? You know, S-U-N-L-O-T-I-O-N." "Yeah, I thought you were red! You want me to get you some lotion?" Thanks, but I can handle this and believe or not, we do have sunlotion in Finland too :P I just supposed that we were going to bar to see the game but we didn't, so we stayed outside and it was cold and and... Which reminds me that I'm kind of waiting for the colder weather. It's windier now so it's not that warm even though the temperature is close to 30C. And the trees are dropping their leaves... I want to wear my winter skirts and boots :P And many people have asked me if the girls in here are like in every American movies: all made up and fresh and beautiful 24/7. No they aren't. I leave out the sorority girls ;) They're just like we normal people ;D But I hate the water in here, it's so hard that it makes my hair so dry...

Oh I should do some vacuuming to our floor but we don't have a vacuum cleaner... And I never hear anyone to do any cleaning (vacuuming), now I've just picked up the trash every time I see one... Though I don't really spend that much time at home, I mainly sleep in here and I am keeping my laundry clean ;) And I keep my side ordered (most of the time...).

And some random things: people in here don't really know how to drive. They just get their drivers license. Well they know how to drive but they can't back up the car... In Finland we really need to learn how to do the backing up in small places before we get our license :P And Aston Kutcher and Elijah Wood have studied in the University of Iowa ;) And I had a troijan horse in my computer. The virus detector was funny, it gave this alarm (and scared me) but it said "there is no reason to panic..." Well that's a program for women! Because if it hadn't said that, I would've panicked :D And oh yeah, I bought Windows Vista and Office 2007, for total of $20 :P

We're going to Chicago in two weeks! We need still find a place to stay... And after that it's not long for out Thanksgiving trip and after that it's not long for finals and after that it's not long for me to see my love!

Laugh

I can't help it but every time I see this pic I just laugh:



And the sneezing panda... :D