Getting Ready

I'm leaving tomorrow for my Thanksgiving trip!!! Boston, New York and Washington, here I come!! I'm getting so excited!

And this week was ok, I got 20/20 from my cricket lab report and some quite young guy called me ma'am :D I also had fever of Wednesday, was in a wrong place drinking hot chocolate and bought some wine and cheese. We were supposed to be at T-spoons but we were at Java Juice but Kaisa and Suzanne was there and we wanted our smoothie so it was ok :) though I just wanted the hot chocolate as I felt awful... But when wouldn't chocolate make you feel better?? ;)

So I'm just doing my laundry, then I need to pack and read 10 pages of endocrinology to get that done so that I don't need to even imagine to be worried about anything study things in our trip :) The I'm going to Kaisas place to see Memoirs of Geisha in the evening and then I'm going to sleep and then I need to wake up at 5.30 am to get to shower and to call my parents and at 7 am we're leaving!!! Our flight leaves at 9 amish...

Just to inform you, I won't be available in a week, will be back on Saturday 24th... ^^

Three Months

I've been here for over three months now! So two thirds down! HA!
And as you probably can hear (read) I'm in a better mood :) I worked hard this weekend and got some work done and noticed that I got my spontanious nature back :) Last night I went to movies in a 2 minute warning time :D (Saw4, wasn't scary, only gross)...

But nothing new in here... Just studying all the time so that I don't need to give any thoughts to studies on vacation... I'll have an exam on Tuesday, report to write for Tuesday, article to analyze for tomorrow (well I did that already) and neurobiology questions to be done for Tuesday. Plus I need to read endocrinology for the week after Thanksgiving as I don't want to read it on Thanksgiving.
And we need to construct the gift basket for Melissa's Uncle and his wife too... So we're going to buy some wine and cheese...
And we planned our Thanksgiving trip today, was supposed to do that last night but I didn't know Paola was coming and I left to the movies... What else?
I don't know why I was so depressed last week... I just wanted to run away from every social event that was ahead of me. I just wanted to be under my blanket and not to get up at all... I missed Tarmo so badly.

But even though this is hard (not that I ever assumed this to be easy) I'm still happy that I left here. This has made me stronger and taught me to be independent. At the same time I know now more than ever that I love Tarmo and he's the one I want to be with. I've learned that I need him. For my sanity. I need him physically and mentally. With him I'm calm and whole. At least if I'm not calm he'll make me calm :D
It's amazing that you need to leave your familiar environment to see these things. I appreciate more than ever what I have and where I live. And that's good.

As I said to a friend of mine, this was probably the worst time I could've picked to leave. But this was my last and only chance. So I just need to deal with it and be happy for what I've learned.

Don't Know What to Think

Quite long time since I last wrote in here but I've been too busy... I have lot to write about and first comet the update of my life :)

So I was supposed to have Endocrinology exam week ago but as we waited it to start the lecture room filled with strange people and eventually there was no space for all. It turned out to be some other exam and our exam was canceled. It was supposed to be today but the lecturer decided to put half of it to next exam and half on final. Which is good because I had Neurobiology exam today... But the weekend first. On Friday I was home early and went to Kaisas place to see some movie (Mean Girls) and drank bottle of wine (was one glass only because the bottles are small... :P) with sparkling water. On Saturday I had really lazy day. I watched the game (again at Kaisas, and we won!), after that we watched Devil wears Prada (rented it on Friday but didn't watch it and it had to be returned by 5pm). After that it was too late to do anything (not that I really had any motivation to do anything...) so we just watched tv (Pirates of the Caribbean I). And talked with Tarmo <3 On Sunday I got some work done and ate pancakes which Kaisa made for us ^^ They were soooooo good! And of course on Sunday it's Desperate Housewinves day too :) I also heard that dad lost his job (though we knew to expect that, they had a new boss and they had to let people go, and he actually wanted to quit but it's not good to quit your job on your own or you don't get any money). So now he has no job but he still gets money. But he's too old to get any job anymore and he's been sick a lot so I hope that he retires... Or that he can retire. We'll see...

On Monday it was my birthday!!! So I'm 22 :> In the morning my parents called and I even got a card from Ashleigh! (A cat card and it was red! Am I really THAT obvious??? :D) I got a funny power point from friends from Finland and many congrats via Facebook. On my first lecture Meike gave me a smoothie and a Birthday Girl badge I had to wear the whole day :D It was fun and quite embarrassing, especially when I was alone :D At Burge a girl who swipes our ID said Happy Birthday and a group of exchange students started to sing but I quickly left :D After my lectures I came home, talked with Tarmo and Saana (haven't talked for so long time!!!). Meike and Paola invited me to their place in the evening and I had such a big surprise waiting for me! The second I stepped inside there was Seminaarimäen Mieslaulajat - Taina playing, there was a birthday cake on the table, red lights and Happy Birthday band hanging on the couch!!!! OH MY GOD! I was so touched that I had to cry! It still gets my eyes wet :) I can't say how touched I was... I did know to expect something but not anything like this... Oh... It was so nice! And I got beautiful earrings and a Hello Kitty towel :D And when I finally came back home I had a packet of Finnish chocolate and Salmiakki waiting for me from my parents :)

And on that night I had a dream where I was sleeping next to Tarmo and it felt so warm and nice, and Pollo walked there too <3

And something about the weather has to be mentioned too... it's been really windy and in the mornings (and nights) there is already minus degrees! Trees have lost most of their leaves but the grass is still green. Still feels like Finnish Spring.

Today I had my Neurobiology exam (no more night exams!!!) and the professor said that the exam is harder than the last exam was... I don't know how that's possible... There were couple of questions I didn't know but I answered to everything... I did all I could, it didn't go well but then again that doesn't tell anything. As I have said so many times, even though you get bad points, you can get a good grade... Last time I got like 66/100 and I got B... So stupid...

But now to serious things. I heard this morning some awful news from Finland. About the massacre in Jokela high school. Oh my god... I feel so bad... And the most shocking part of this is that it was in news even in here! I really don't know what to think! And I've been thinking about it the whole day! I don't know why it touches me this much. I didn't know any of them, it was far away from where I live but still I feel awful. Maybe it's because it was even in here in news and it was said in news too, that schools have always been considered as a safe place in Finland and I myself have always felt that when I'm in school, I'm safe. Lucky me that I'm not in school anymore, I don't know what I'd do... I'm afraid of mentally unstable people, have always been, but somehow I'm even more afraid now... I can't understand how no-one saw this coming??? Please do believe that when a young people say that they feel bad, they do feel bad and it's not just a puberty!!! (That's what it was considered when I was in high school...) We really need to take some serious actions... Oh I still can't believe this happened! I don't know what to think... I'm mad that he died and he don't need to face his action, he got away from this too easily! He killed young people who had their whole life ahead and a woman who possibly had children! This is so unfair! Then again it's good that he died so that the government doesn't need to take care of him (which costs a lot money). And even though I don't believe in God, I want to believe that he won't get away from this this easily. There's got to be something waiting for him. Hell or something as bad. This is stupid, stupid, STUPID! I feel so sorry for all the parents and friends. As my worst fear is to lose my loved ones, I can only imagine what they feel like if I feel this bad :(

I don't know what to say about this anymore... I don't know what to think. I'm so glad no-one asked my opinion about this today. I might have bursted into tears...

Ghosts

My network was working the very next day though it was very slow... :P I assume that they noticed that it was their mistake. And Paola and Meike cheered me up when I came that day back home.

Ashleigh: "Paola called again, she sounded like you really should call her back."
Me: "Omg what have happened??"
*calls Paola and Meike
Paola: "Taina! I need a Hello Kitty band aid!" *sobs*
Taina: "What has happened???"
Paola: *sobs* "I lost a button from my skirt..."
...

It was so hilarious! Because it was the same button we already sew few weeks ago. Ashleigh came to see if I was crying or laughing because I laughed so much :D And the next day I was supposed to try to connect this wreck to the wireless but then I noticed that it was working again.

And I had to drop the Graduate Immunology course, it was way beyond me... After the first 15 minutes of the second session I thought that ok, this is it. I can't do this. I couldn't understand a bit what they were talking about and yet still I was forced to talk with them. So now I have Animal Behavior instead. :) And I really didn't expect this to be this hard. I mean I'm only positively surprised, the education in here is really good and the professors are great! (I love my endocrinology professor, he's hilarious, in the end of one session he said "Oh, I'm so sick" :D and that describes it all!) And I really need to read all the time for the courses. But it's good, it keeps me busy. Someone said that the University of Iowa is one of the top universities in US. And it really feels like that.

Last Friday I was in a such a good mood, I talked with my parents (and aunt because she's in Finland because of funeral of their mothers brother, I said all our relatives are dying! :( ) and with Tarmo! And I cried a bit when I heard Tarmos voice because it had been a while when I had heard it last time. But I just was so happy :) And I also saw him via webcam! On Friday we went to Q bar and there was this amazing band; Minus Six! I didn't drink that much that night (3 margaritas, $3 a piece) because I was in front of the stage most of the night :) And after the night we got ride home. Yesterday we went to the Coral Ridge Mall and I bought some things from Victoria's Secret again ;) And I was supposed to buy some nice skirt but I couldn't find one... all there was was mini skirts and mini shorts... So I bought a jacket for Fall and it was only $60 and similar one at other shop was $200! After shopping we went to see Nanny Diaries in to the cinema and it was nice. we bought this huge bucket of popcorns and couldn't even finish it (there were four of us eating it!). When we came back there was this big family of black people (and even though I tell this story, I'm not a racist :) and it was so funny because all the older kids were messing around while the little ones were sitting nicely. In Finland it's the other way around :D And there was this cute little girl who sat next to Paola and chatted with her. She reminded me so much of my nieces sister Laura (she's also black) :) Oh yeah, and when I was heading to the Mall there was this elder black man who came to me when I was going to the bus and said Oh you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, I would like to get to know you, I live in Coralville, maybe you could come and visit me ans we could chat... And he smelled a bit of alcohol and it was kind of awkward. Luckily I could get away from him when the bus came. And weird enough, Ashleigh told this same story when she came to the Mall! :D

After the movies we came back home and Kaisa helped me with my computer and we formated it. And it's so much faster now :) Though we had to wait a bit and while waiting we watched Tyttö sinä olet tähti and The Butterfly effect. I liked both of them but I was really impressed about the latter one. It was so good, distressing but still very good. So I came home at 2 am and went straight to bed. I just left my laptop on the table (sideways) and didn't do anything more with it. And here are ghosts! Because when I woke up an hour ago, my laptop was on it's right place (and I did put it SIDEWAYS) and it's lid was open (I left it closed) and the network cable was connected... And our doors were locked... Ashleigh was awake for a while in the morning, I have to ask her if she did something... But this is a bit scary :F

Today we're going to go outside read because it should be a good weather :)

And it seems that I still can't upload any pics... And I tried to find some video of Minus Six but couldn't find a decent one...

Missing My Babe

I had such a fun night last night :) But unfortunately I can't (still!) post any pics because they just won't upload. :(

But anyway, yesterday morning we went to the Farmers Market to get some fresh food. And we also found this organic food place and I bought some fruits there. Then we got back home and Meike reminded me that the church had a give way day and so I headed back to downtown, almost missed the transportation there but thanks to Paola and Meike we (Kaisa and I) got a ride there. I found night table and small shelf plus some kitchen items. Then I got back home again, waited for the items to arrive and headed to City Park for FIS (Friends of International Students) picnic. We ate a lot and had a good time. When it ended I once again headed back home to change my clothes because we went to see this free movie at Old Capitol. After that we headed to Brothers, were there until 1:30 am and after that we went to Nathaniels place and had some vodka. I was back home at 5 am and talked with Tarmo for a while and finally got some sleep. Though I slept only like three hours because it was getting so light that I just couldn't sleep anymore.
And I've just been listening to Tori Amos and chatted with friends. In a couple of hours we're going to IMU to get some free lunch and maybe after that see another free movie.

But I had such a good time last night. We had some deep discussions with Nathaniel and he also offered me to stay the night at their couch but I wanted to come home because I knew my love would be already wake and I really missed him. So Nathaniel walked me home because it was night and little girls aren't supposed to walk alone at night time :D But yesterday was the first day I missed Tarmo really badly. I do miss him all the time but last night was just overwhelming. I know that alcohol had something to do with that :P And I've just been listening Tori Amos with my Kisu (Kittie) and my head aches a bit because of the vodka (Russian one!) and because I didn't sleep enough, I think I'm still a bit drunken :>

Americans are so funny. Yesterday we were wondering how to get to the super WalMart and this church lady said that she could take us there some time and she actually gave us a call today and asked if we would like to go shopping :D And yesterday I would've had a car taking me home but I preferred walking because it sobers me up. And then Nathaniel walked me home. I can't understand why they are so friendly. :D Not that I don't appreciate that! I do! But for a Finn friendly people are just fantasy. And yet again I always fear that people get the wrong impression of me because being a European woman in America seems to make me interesting and I love chatting with people. And all the other exchange students are so nice too! I just need to always first make clear to them (well, to all the guys) that I'm engaged and I'm not planning to have any kind of messing around in here because I love him so much and I'm only one mans girl. (There is actually one guy that is engaged !! but says that she doesn't need to know, want to mess around with me? I don't care if you have a boyfriend. And that's just awful! So that makes me a bit cautious.) But it's kind of complicated. Because I try to be friendly to all and you really can't just say "Hi I'm Taina and I'm engaged, how are you?". You have to chat first for a while and I always try to bring up this thing in a subtle way because I don't want to be rude. Oh this is so difficult to explain what I mean. I can't explain it even in Finnish either but I hope you get the idea what I'm talking about. But I'll drop this thing now before it gets too long. I just needed to get this off my chest :)

Oh yeah, and I met at the picnic this guy who loves HIM and he had a HIM shirt! That was cool! And he said that people from Finland always speak perfectly English :D I also met my other "roomies" on the other side of kitchen and bathroom. They were really nice.

And I have this huge pimple on the side of my nose and it hurts so much and I hate it!

ps. edited: I added pics finally in here too ^^