Working Hard

And it's weekend again.

morning I talked with Tarmo before leaving to my class. After my first class I went to the library to read for my Neurobiology exam and Kaisa came there too. We were supposed to go to Kalona Fall Festival later that day (at 6 pm) but Kaisa said that she'll go with the earlierOn Friday I had the most hectic day ever. In the group (3 pm) to there so that she wouldn't miss the homecoming parade. Meike had already said that she'll change the group too but I had my Endocrinology until 3:20 pm. But I started to think that I don't want to miss the parade either. So after lunch we went to ask if there still was seats left on the first group and half an hour before we were supposed to leave, we found out that there will be two cars going so we can go with the earlier group! So we went home to get our school stuff off and change bags because we were going straight from Kalona to the parade. So we left and on our way we visited a cheese factory. There we saw the only Amish people, there were no Amish people at the Kalona festival. The area was small and reminded me of Finnish markets, there was food and antiques. We were ready to leave after 1,5 hours but we had to wait for the others. So we made it just and just to the parade and after that we went to see a free concert. In the middle of the concert we left to eat something and after that we met the others and listened other concert. There was Minus Six again at the town so we went to Q-bar to listen to them and I was back home at 2 am.
I put my eye pads on my eyes so that I could sleep late the next day.

So I woke up today at 9.30 am when Ashleigh left to the game. I went to watch the game at Kaisas place (we lost). After that I came back home, talked again with my mother in law (they showed their new home via webcam!) and took a nap because I was really tired and my head ached. I really appreciate the Finnish bars now, the smoke makes my head ache, I drank only one drink and it took 2 hours for me to finish it so I didn't have a hang over! :D But after napping I felt better, made some food and actually managed to read some Neurobiology ^^

I had a dream few nights ago that my mom cried a lot. I need to ask if she's okay when we talk next time.

And I've been missing home. Sometimes I feel like I would just like to crawl in my bed, go under the blanket and be there in warm. I feel like I would like to be alone, curl up in to fetus position and be in my own thoughts. But I know that's not a good thing to do so I don't do that. Instead I study hard and try to be social. Though being perfectionist (and not so sure how much I need to study to get good grades), studying takes now time from my socializing. But I heard that local students don't take many science courses at a time because they require a lot work (which I've noticed) and that the basic courses are harder in grading so that the people that are not smart enough will drop. But luckily working has always been my way to "grief". If you can call this grieving :D



82 days and I see my baby again. And two days for our half a year anniversary (from our engagement)... Kalona was hard place, there were babies all over! And they all were behaving and so cute :> I need to write an e-mail to my professor and ask about my graduation... I need to ask if I need one course and when do I need to apply for the PhD place... I am beginning to realize that I am actually going to graduate. That's quite scary! I remember the time it seemed that I would just study forever... Though after graduating I will still study :D But at least I get some money.

I love the peace in here. Everyone is partying after the game.

STUPID EXAM

Ok, the Developmental Biology exam was AWFUL!!! It was 12 pages and we had 1 hour 15 minutes time to do it! There actually was a question: Who kept the lecture on 25th September? (We had two different professors) and questions like In this writers paper they came in some conclusions (and these conclusions weren't mentioned), what were they and what controls did they do and why? For fuck sake!!! We had three different papers and I did read them but how the fuck am I supposed to remember who was the writer??? And we had to design some experiments so it wasn't only short answers, so it took time to answer. So an hour and fifteen minutes?? 12 PAGES??? ARGH! I really didn't have time to think the last questions because I thought the exam time was the normal 2 hours and after 45 minutes they said, you have half an hour time. And I had several pages still empty!!! Though I know I knew some things and even the Americans couldn't have finished by the time so I'm not the only one but what is the point making questions no one can answer (or have time to answer) and ask stupid questions like who kept the lecture??? Easy points from that but it took still time to read the question and answers! So stupid... But now I know that my moan about this same thing earlier wasn't in vain... THIS IS SO STUPID!

But I believe I did well enough. I'd better do, my brains hurt. So I went to eat and came home. Poor Kaisa has still one more exam for today and she's sick :( I figured that I don't have to read today, I'll start the neurobiology tomorrow... I'll just rest this evening.

I heard yesterday that my friends dad had passed away :( and she's quite unhappy and it made me hope that I'd be in Finland and able to give her a hug <3 I also talked again with my mother in law (god bless this internet) and their house is finally ready and she told me that they have two quest rooms, one for their daughter and one for us (meaning Tarmo and me). She said actually for us, and it made me feel so good ^^ I don't know why but I was so touched!

I'm still planning for the future... Besides the family stuff I've been thinking what I will do after graduation. I hope I can get a PhD place from our university but if I don't, what then? Someone promised me last Winter that I could go to their company to do some toxicity tests so that would be one option. I'm also hoping that I have enough time to do some practice in some company (we can do that via university before graduation) so that I'd get to know that side too... and some people and maybe get job... I don't know. But it's good to have some plans.

I talked (I mean talked, actually talked) with Tarmo today. It made me happy again :) But we can't do that too often, we don't have the time and every time I speak with him I start missing him more and more. And if I talked with him every day so that I heard his voice, I'd be depressed because of the longing. I had a dream last night that I went into his lap and it was so warm to be there... Then I woke up because of the alarm clock :(

Expressing Mother Genes

Okay, this is the thing I was moaning yesterday:

I read the whole weekend to the developmental biology exam (and not to the behavior exam because developmental biology is more interesting, though I had the behavior exam today...) and learned the major things we've gone through so far. And I learned those things so that I really understood them but then I saw the last years exam and I got depressed and angry! The exam was full of details! And only details! Well okay, mainly details but still! You can't measure your BASIC knowledge by asking questions about little details, the course is INTRODUCTION to Developmental Biology! Details are for more advantaged people (and obviously for smarter people than me...)
But anyway, that was the thing blogger.com decided to delete last night... And so I had my Animal Behavior exam today and it actually went better than I expected (because I lost my motivation for reading because of the detail questions). Though I didn't answer for two questions (I just couldn't remember two terms and I had absolutely no clue about C. elegans mechanoreceptors molecular basics and how touching with eyelash affects ti those molecules... though I do remember the professor mentioning researchers without eyelashes... :D). And I wasn't sure about few of the questions but mainly I knew the answers, so at least I passed (I hope). I actually heard some guy complaining about the exam on neurobiology discussion after the exam :D
And yeah, in here you write only your student number on the exam, no names! And you don't need to show any ID when you return the exam...

And I started menstruating today! Two days earlier than normally! I think it's because of my mother genes are expressed more actively than normally (yes, I've been reading genetics :D) No but really I think it has something to do with my mental disorder I've had lately...

I talked with my mom today and she sounded a bit worn out... I wonder what's wrong... It might be because of the water damage that stresses her and it starts to get dark in Finland now and people get depressed... I hope she'll get better! It was raining the whole day today and when I came back home, it was already dark and the streets were wet and full of yellow leaves, Fall, just like in Finland! And it was quite cold!

I need to start to go through my notes for the damned INTRODUCTION to Developmental Biology exam... I have the exam on that on Thursday, then I have to start go through my Neurobiology notes and read the chapters and after than exam (next Wednesday) I need to catch up everything and then (or even before I finish catching up...) it's time for Chicago! We even bought tickets for a ice hockey game there! And we're going to stay at Melissas relatives :) and on this Friday we'll go to Kalona Festival! It's kind of Amish festival that's near here. And on Friday night we'll go to see Minus Six again!

And I got a letter from my niece today! She's like 12 or something (I'm sos bad with ages, I can't even remember how old I am!) and asked what's my favorite food and when am I coming back ^^

Stupid Introduction

I got Finnish candy today! Never ever has salmiakki tasted this good <3

(part of post deleted because blogger.com didn't know how tho handle my pic and decided to erase half of my text and ARGH and I'm too tired to do that again... So it just continues from here and no pics this time :P)
...
because I felt that I should had learned only details and not the basics in detail...) Well I just need to see how it goes. And about the Animal Behavior course, since I spent so much time in developmental biology, I didn't have enough time to read for this course and I lost my interest because of the detail thing... Luckily I have some time to go through my notes tomorrow morning... And luckily I can take my classes as passed and not with grades... I just hope that I pass! I really prefer Finnish system. We have usually only one exam during the course and by knowing the basics you pass and by knowing details you get an A. But in here you have three to four exams in a course and they seem to ask mainly details... In Finland we have few questions where we have to define some things plus two to four essays (real essays, you need to write two to four pages!) and it usually takes two hours to complete the exam. In here you have ten pages of multiple choices, some defines and short essays (meaning sentence or two!) and you complete the exam in an hour. And did I already mention the details??? In my opinion you can't measure your knowledge by details, you need to know the basics and big concepts and by details you show that you are smart and interested in that thing... It might seem easy but it's not, you really need to understand the big concept before you can understand the details! And what's that about grading people with Gaussian function??? That does not measure knowledge, if people are stupid, they are stupid and still get A's! (I just chatted with my suite mate for an hour so I lost my thoughts.) But I think that was enough anyway. And I'm starting to miss home. I've chatted with my mother in law and she sent me nice pictures of their new house and I'd just like to visit there... I'm starting to miss my own bed, my own kitchen... And I'm starting to miss Tarmo so much that occasionally it makes me depressed. I really need to keep myself busy now so that I don't get time to think too much. I still love Iowa City and I don't want to leave yet but this is getting worse... Maybe it's because now I have only my courses and I really don't have time for socializing anymore, at least not as much as I'd like to have... My normal day begins at 7:30 am (and I really wake up without alarm clock), I get up, make breakfast and back my bag and get ready, then I come to talk with Tarmo and then I go to my classes, after that I study and I get home at 8 pm. And by that time I'm just so tired that I'd just like to sleep but I try to do things and get bed at 10 pm. I don't like being at home because I don't like this room as much as I like my own house and I have my computer in here so I really can't concentrate in here. And it's noisy. Moan moan. Not really. I got chocolate and salmiakki!! But now I got stuck with my mouth again. And it's late enough so that I can go bed again! I have the same thing my dad has, if he's sad, he sleeps. Maybe that's why I'd just like to sleep.. Though I love sleeping :>

I've been thinking about future a lot. I've kind of started to realize that I'm going to graduate next Summer. And then I get money, at least a lot more money than I get now, and then I'm able to save some money! I already planned that I'd get my drivers license next Spring. I just need to start saving which means that I need to save in here too, but that's not hard, I don't have the time to do any shoppings anyway! And I could ask some money from my parents as my birthday and christmas gift... And then I'm graduating and we need to start planning ti get a car because we don't get the discounts anymore so it'd be worth of buying a car... And then... some family things I've been thinking... Oh I hate this baby boom! And then again I love it :D I'm crazy, I know.

But the bed. It calls me.

Three Months

Three months! It's three months for me to see my baby <3 1,5 months is over, that's half of the time that it ahead (see, I can do some maths ;) It will go by fast.

And I'm happy because Tarmo is much cheerier than he has been for a while. He got lots of food and some money :) Makes me cheerier too!

And I have to read the whole day for the Developmental Biology exam. I started yesterday and I got really interested. It's so interesting! I wasn't always interested in it because I didn't understand gastrulation etc, but now I do and it's so fascinating! But I have a lot to read for the exam and I have my Animal Behavior exam next week too. Luckily it doesn't have that much reading in it though I need to have few days to go through all the notes...

See, I got motivated again :) I was just tired. And I'm not in my best when I'm tired. But the funny thing is that I laugh all the time. As Paola said (about Kaisas jumpiness): "I always scare her and Taina laughs." :D Though that is true. (I love you too Kaisa.) And Sira actually said that she'll miss that she can't localize me at our university by my laugh for a six months :D So I'm quite known for my laugh, though I try to think that as a positive thing :D

But I'll go back chatting with my babe and then I'll go to my class and then I'll go studying... Luckily I don't have my endocrinology class today, I can study longer. I also plan to go out tonight though I plan not to get drunk because I need to read tomorrow too... :P

I Know What Sunlotion Is

Something to report again :)

I had my first exam and it went ok. The professor asked some questions I didn't really expect but I knew the answers for most of the questions. At least I think so... We had 5 pages of questions on both sides of the papers, multiple questions, true/false or short answers. I was done in half an hour though I didn't believe it, so I checked my answers, didn't change anything and watched someone else to return their paper first. It was funny that people kept asking questions about the exam during the whole exam time (like some details about the questions or asked some clarifications), in Finland what you see is what you get. If there is not some mistakes about the question and you ask something about it, the professor just says that you see the question, answer to it...

I also had my first "proper" lab in animal behavior. Last time we just watches the March of the Penguins and wrote short proposal for that, today we played with zebra fishes. We had a male zebra fish alone in a tank and we were supposed to tease it with a fake female/male fishes and write down its behavior. In the end we wanted to repeat the trials but our fish got tired and was only interested in me :D (it stayed only in the corner that was on my side) I laughed that even the fish is interested in European girl :D

And I felt really special at the beginning of the week when people came to say to me that "Oh we missed you!" I was away only one weekend :D Tymon was best when he said that "Oh, the Asians are no use, you need to come to the bar with us!" I also talked with my mother in law today! She was visiting Tarmo today and we talked via Skype and webcam :) So I saw our kitties, Tarmo and my mother in law <3 It made me happy but it also made me miss home. Talking by just writing is easier though I love to hear Tarmos voice, but it makes me miss him and home more. Though time still goes by so fast, it's already Thursday night!

People are still teasing me about my red face. "You know what sunlotion is? You know, S-U-N-L-O-T-I-O-N." "Yeah, I thought you were red! You want me to get you some lotion?" Thanks, but I can handle this and believe or not, we do have sunlotion in Finland too :P I just supposed that we were going to bar to see the game but we didn't, so we stayed outside and it was cold and and... Which reminds me that I'm kind of waiting for the colder weather. It's windier now so it's not that warm even though the temperature is close to 30C. And the trees are dropping their leaves... I want to wear my winter skirts and boots :P And many people have asked me if the girls in here are like in every American movies: all made up and fresh and beautiful 24/7. No they aren't. I leave out the sorority girls ;) They're just like we normal people ;D But I hate the water in here, it's so hard that it makes my hair so dry...

Oh I should do some vacuuming to our floor but we don't have a vacuum cleaner... And I never hear anyone to do any cleaning (vacuuming), now I've just picked up the trash every time I see one... Though I don't really spend that much time at home, I mainly sleep in here and I am keeping my laundry clean ;) And I keep my side ordered (most of the time...).

And some random things: people in here don't really know how to drive. They just get their drivers license. Well they know how to drive but they can't back up the car... In Finland we really need to learn how to do the backing up in small places before we get our license :P And Aston Kutcher and Elijah Wood have studied in the University of Iowa ;) And I had a troijan horse in my computer. The virus detector was funny, it gave this alarm (and scared me) but it said "there is no reason to panic..." Well that's a program for women! Because if it hadn't said that, I would've panicked :D And oh yeah, I bought Windows Vista and Office 2007, for total of $20 :P

We're going to Chicago in two weeks! We need still find a place to stay... And after that it's not long for out Thanksgiving trip and after that it's not long for finals and after that it's not long for me to see my love!

Laugh

I can't help it but every time I see this pic I just laugh:



And the sneezing panda... :D

Not in the Mood

Ok. I don't know why but I'm not in the mood for studying. Luckily I already read enough for today and I did my neurobiology review questions (though I didn't know answers for all of them) so now I just need to do something until my last class for today starts (in an hour). I'll have my exam tomorrow but I'll have several hours to go through my notes for that because we don't have the class for that tomorrow. I'm so happy I bought the mp3 player, it makes me feel a lot better to listen the music ^^

Oh it's so scary to go through those book detectors in the library when you are listening music because you can hear them scanning you! (Because I just went through them...)

I'm so tired. I didn't sleep well last night and I still woke up at 7:30 am. I need a good sleep and them I'm motivated again. And my face is peeling still so I don't want to be in public places, I'd just like to hide somewhere to recover... Though it was my own fault so let the girl suffer!

I got such a funny messages from Josh today, I couldn't do anything but laugh!

Hope u r having a wonderful time staring at animal brains!
Remember. If u hear the brain screaming back at u it is time to switch ur major.

So funny! Like I would torture the brains o.O but if I now see nightmares of brains screaming at me I know who to blame!

I booked a hotel for me and Tarmo for the couple of nights we're going to be in Nashville before going to New York. This hotel is near a Mall so if we get bored, there's something to do. Because there weren't any cheap hotels in downtown. We still need to get a place where to stay after Christmas... I put note today on this market place and I'll keep it there until we get a place to stay. We just calculated that if we stayed at a hotel that costs $50 for a night, it'd be over $1000 per person and that's too much! It'd be cheaper to rent a room/house but there doesn't seem to be any rooms with furnitures... But we'll figure out something.

And by the way. I'm going to gain some weight in here... There are so many cheeses available when I go to my lunch every day and because I love cheese, I eat it and then I get fat! In Finland cheese is so expensive that we can't afford to buy it all the time, not to mention different kind of cheeses! (Today I had a salad where there was feta, cheddar and cottage cheese!) And I really need to start to go to the gym but I don't seem to have the energy for that! It opens too late during the weeks so that I can't go there before my classes, I study so late that I'm too tired to go there in the evening and on Saturdays I'm elsewhere or having a hangover and on Sundays I'm too busy with my studies because I didn't do anything during the weekend! Okay, okay, only excuses I know, but a good ones! Though I really need to start exercising again...

I don't get it. Why am I this tired? I study hard in Finland too, all my books have been in English for the last three years and it's not THAT different to study in here (except that the classes start late). Maybe it's because I didn't sleep well during the weekend and because here I HAVE to read all the time because of the exams. I'll have two exams next week so I have to start to go through my notes for them on the weekend...

And we should book our hostel for our Thanksgiving trip in Boston. I'll do that tonight.

But I just realized that I should do something and now that I'm not going to study anymore, I'll make this time useful and go to buy some software...

Everyday Life part 2

Ok, some differences between the everyday life that I've discovered. Americans have three big holes in their papers, we have two. People in here get noisy in the Sundays when they get back in to the residence halls, in Finland people are dead on Sundays. When it's sunny people do not go out to enjoy the sun like in Finland.
Now that I've been in here for "so long" I don't notice anymore the differences like I noticed them few weeks ago. But instead I've started to see familiar faces from Finland now. I did the same thing when I moved from Tampere to Jyväskylä. I started to see my friends though I knew they couldn't be there.
And I don't want to study this much. I was just talking about this with Kaisa. I want to get good grades but I don't want to study my ass off, I can do that in Finland too. The good thing is that when I transfer my courses I can choose if I get pass/failed or grades. That makes things so much easier. But I just need to see what my grades turn out to be when I'm done here. It's not that I want to be lazy, I just want to explore my surroundings too, not just study all the time. And that's what I'm doing now :P Though I like studying, time goes by quicker and then it's December soon... And I want that and then again I do not want that to come this quick.

And by the way, I ordered some more Finnish chocolate, salmiakki (kind of sour sweets, kind of liquorice) and hapankorppu (dark dried bread)! All traditional Finnish things I can offer to poor people in here who have no idea what they taste like (I have to start with the dark bread, then give salmiakki because I'm sure many people won't like it and then give the chocolate so that people don't start to hate me ;)

And my parents had this water damage in their house. Their dishwasher had been leaking for about year already but they didn't notice it because there was no water anywhere. Finally last week the neighbors downstairs said that there was water dripping. My mom was so shocked and she cried (that does not happen often). And I know it's because she's had so rough time this year and she really didn't need this to happen. Dad is shocked too obviously. Now they need to take off the floor and dry the apartment and then get the floor back. I think they even had to take one wall off too... And they can't cook or wash the dishes there for a few months or at least for few weeks now... But mom sounded a lot better this morning. I wish I could just give them hugs. I sent them a cute card instead, hope that cheers them up.

What else..? I miss our cats a lot. When I went to sleep on Friday I saw this Kittie statue in the corner and it just made me smile :) It was white but it still made me miss our kitties. And yeah, my face is getting better. But I'm still embarrassed to be in public places with my red face. People tried to joke around "But red is your favorite color!". Yeah, but I don't need it in my face! I prefer it to be in my clothes and accessories :P

And the daydreaming made me miss home, so I need to stop daydreaming :D though I don't miss home that badly that I'd like to leave so that's good. I still love this place :) Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I talked today with my parents, with Tarmo and with Tarmo's mom. And she promised that she has some mushrooms and berries for me when I get back (we Finnish people go to the forest to get mushrooms and berries every Fall) ^^

Family Planning :>

I had really fun weekend. We left to Des Moines and Aimes. We stayed at Melissas friends house which was really nice! On Saturday we went tailgating and it was great! Melissa and Matt left to get a spot for us early in the morning and we (Paola, Kaisa, Ashley and I) followed later. Unfortunately Ashley had to go to work but we grilled and drank some booze. And it was fun, everybody were interested about us European girls. We even got some free alcohol :> But the minus side was that there was cold but sunny, so we burned our faces. And today we went to Des Moines and went to the mall too, I found only one shoes.

Studies take so much time. I read one article but then I lost my energy and couldn't do more... I tried to find some articles for the behavior proposal but I don't have the mood to read them. I'll do that tomorrow... I also have my first exam next Wednesday! And I need to do some "homework" for neurobiology for Tuesday... Argh! So I basically need to live at the library next week.

But now I can write some deep thoughts. Oh but first one thing that has been bothering me the whole weekend. On Thursday-Friday night I woke up when Ashleigh asked I was ok, I just mumbled and fell asleep right away. She left to NYC so I couldn't ask what she meant. But Dezerae also asked me on Friday what was I screaming at night. But I can't remember that I even made any noise! And usually if I have really strong dreams, I remember them. I need to ask Ashleigh was I really screaming. But that's really scary... But I remember having That Kind of Dreams again :> Though I think (and believe) that the scream was not because of those dreams :D

But anyway, back to my deep thoughts. So we were at Ashley's and Matt's place during the weekend. They got married last summer and had really beautiful pictures from their wedding and engagement (I'm jealous, I want that kind of pics of me and Tarmo too!). I want to get married too! They are also planning for a baby but obviously getting a child in here is much more complicated compared to Finland. You really need to have insurance (as in Finland too) but insurances in here are really expensive. And that's because health care in here is expensive. But the funny thing for me is that it is such a big deal in here. It's not that it wouldn't be a big deal in Finland too to have a kid but somehow I got the impression that it is much easier. I can't explain what I mean. And I lost my thought... But the thing I wanted to write about is family and home. Their home was so beautiful, they had the perfect kitchen table and chairs (made of dark red tree) and their sofas (and recliner!) were just awesome (but wrong colored for my taste)! I want such a furnitures too! I want a big house and beautiful things around me. And a car. Though I need to have my drivers license first... Oh I want so many things! I want to graduate and get a job (ie money)! Luckily I'm supposed to graduate next Spring and these thoughts drive me towards that goal, which is good. If I could get the PhD place from our university and get paid (it's more anyway than I get now) and if Tarmo could graduate and get a job too, and if we live still at the student apartment (we have no reason to move out because I like our home ;), we could save some money to get our home look like a real home (now we have so many ugly furniture because we can't afford to buy any other and we got them for free) and then I could get my drivers license and we could get a car and and and... I love dreaming about these things :)
But the family (serious) part of my thoughts. Being away from Tarmo makes me love him more and more. I feel such a strong bonding with him and being separated and not able to talk every day makes me want to spend the rest of my life with him more than ever. I know I'm young and to be engaged in this age is unsure for many people. But I've always felt being older (though then again I'm not over 18...) and I've never felt like this. I've always planned for my future home and family (damn these mom genes!) but now it feels different. My dreams feel like they could come true someday. And listening other people to get married and planning to get babies gets my baby boom blooming again! But no worries, I'm rationale and won't get a baby only because I want to do so :D I need a guaranteed source of money and a place where to go after maternity "vacation". I need a life situation where I can get a baby. And I am not in that kind of situation yet. I need also my man to want a baby (hint hint Tarmo, muaha! ;) Now I'm being mean. But I actually said this weekend that I need to call little people as brats to keep my baby boom away :D
But now that I've been in the Land of Promises, I know that I do not want to raise my family in here. Or to be more precise, I do not want to spend my whole life in here. I still do want to come back here to do some research. I'd like to emerge my family to this culture too. The optimal situation would be to come here with my family (though I will not come back if my family ie Tarmo is not coming, I will not go through separation again) and spend some years in here but get back to get my kids educated in Finland. I can't come back for two years (to live) in here after I go back home. So that means that if and when I graduate next Spring and I really get the PhD place (ie source of money), I have still year and a half time to plan my come back. It's not that I had to be here exactly in two years but being perfectionist means that I always need to plan everything. (And as I said, I love dreaming.) And that also means living in a "cheap" apartment which means that we are able to save some money. Which means that we can get the car etc. Though we need to get the car anyway because after we graduate, we don't get any student discounts anymore which means that we can't travel to see our parents.

(Sometimes I wonder if I should make another blog for my brainstorming because this has nothing to do with my exchange :D)

But now I'm tired writing all these things. There is so many aspects in my dreams and I really can't write them all in here. And I don't even want to write. I need to have some secrets too you know! No, what I really would like to do is to discuss these things with my love. And somehow that feels strange. But that's only a cultural thing. In Finland women (though this thing is not true anymore in my generation which is good!) can't speak about these things with their man. That's because men in Finland are grumpy and they do not want to discuss about anything (they just want to drink alcohol :P). Luckily I have a man who is not like that. I don't know if he wants to talk about family planning with me :D But I'd like to chat about there things with him. But not only speak, I need to see him while talking about this serious things. And now it is not time to discuss these things, at least seriously. I need to remind you (and myself) that I'm only brainstorming. And this makes me miss him again badly. But that has something to do with the fact that I haven't talked with him for three days now :P

I'm so lucky I have a family back home. I don't feel alone going back. Because when I was single and went back home from my parents home, I always felt alone. I do have friends but it's not the same thing. I'm definitely a family person. Though I'm also career centered... But let's not go there now.

Now I'll stop this. :) Enough future planning! PS. I'm going to post some furniture pics to somewhere else to keep myself motivated to graduate ;)

100 Days

100 days until I see Tarmo! I booked my flights to Tennessee on 21st December (my last exam will be on Friday from 12-2 pm and my flight leaves from Cedar Rapids at 6 pm, so I need a ride there *hinthint*)!!! I'm so excited! I'm one step closer to my love because he will be there an hour before me!!! Can I go already, can I, can I?? *poffail poffail*

But I'm so tired, I had a long day so I'll just go and lay down...

One Month

One month. I've been here for a month.

Time has gone quick by. If it keeps going this fast, I'll see Tarmo in no time ^^ And my life in here will be soon over :( I really enjoy being here. I love this place. I haven't regretted coming here. I do miss my family and friends (see, I included all ;) but this is worth it. This is my dream come true. I've always wanted to go studying abroad. And here I am!

But one thing annoys me A LOT. I keep messing he and she. I never EVER did that in Finland. And I hear my mistake when I blurt it out. Maybe I've relaxed with my speaking. I need to pull myself together.

I had a nice weekend after Friday, on Saturday I just enjoyed the peace in here. On Sunday I wondered where my roommate was because she didn't come back home at night. But I thought she just went to sleep somewhere else. Which was true. When she finally came home she told me that she had been the night in jail!!! I was so shocked! It is illegal to be drunk in public place and because of the football weekend police was quite horrible and arrested Ashleigh on her way to the game! I definitely wont drink anything on football weekends! Or be drunk during the game... And she told that the police woman was horrible to her... I's so scared, an angry police is my nightmare! :D But no really, I'm going to be more careful where I'm moving when I'm drunk...

And another school week is on. And I got a flu and feel quite miserable :( I just try to drink tea and sleep. And I thought that I had an exam this week but the exams were rescheduled and I don't have one this week! Which is good because I really can't read that efficiently now...

What else... One month. I can't believe it. One month! It's quite funny, I hope that the time keeps going fast so that I can see my love soon and then again I hope it would just slow a bit so that I could enjoy this place more ^^

Fun Night

I had such a good night :) I had so much fun! We (Kaisa and I) first went to Airliner and actually without knowing it, we went to someones birthdayparty! And it was only 7 pm and people there were already so drunk! The party ended and we went downstairs and thought that the place wasn't so good because it was some foodplace (the bar is upstairs but they had to close it for some other party). So we went to Deadwood to wait others. After everyone had arrived we had some drinks and headed to some other bar again (I actually don't know what bar it was, Margarita or something? no, it was One Eyed Jack ot something like that). On our way there Nathaniel told that the man who played violin at the street sings in finnish too. So we went to talk to him and he actually sang Leirinuotiolla! He had lived in Turku for two
years and his girlfriends name was actually Taina! And he said this before I told my name! It was so funny :)
We didn't stay long in the third bar because we got an invitation to someones house party! There we bought a cup ($5) and drank some really sweet booze. There was two guys who were so high and it was so funny when Josh told them that
I'm married and they were like wow, do you have kids too?? :D We spent most of the time at
the backyard. And then half of the people there left the party quickly because there was police
near (obviously they were under 21). Finally we went home too, Judith gave us a ride.

And then I had to make myself to stay in bed after 8 am, I was wide awake before eight!

And I was actually supposed to say this last time but I forgot: I do miss my parents and friends too but I can't mention everything every time, I just write about some things, not EVERYTHING :P

So second week of studies is over. And I have my first exam next week so I really have to study... And I ordered am mp3 player and it should arrive within few days!

There was something I was supposed to say but I forgot what it was :P

Missing Him

Ok. My network still sucks but I e-mailed to them again. Lets see what they say this time.

There are some things I want to tell you. Guys in here don't really have manners. They keep their caps on inside, even during lectures! Though one guy amazed me at the bus, he gave me his seat but I really think it was because he couldn't see his buddy. And about my professors, my endocrinology professor is just hilarious. I think I mentioned him earlier. Oh shoot and I'm so sick are his most used words during the lectures :D Though I'm a bit worried of him, he limps and seems really tired. And he actually was in hospital last weekend... And even still he keeps joking all the time. And my Animal Behavior professor says "emm" at least 15 times in 5 minutes (I counted). And that continues the whole lecture. And the news papers. They are so weird shaped! They're long and narrow and so hard to read unless you read them on table! And buses don't run in time starting from the evenings (I don't know about the morning and daytime buses because there are so many anyway so it doesn't really matter if they run late).

I went to play frisbee with Danny, Tymon, Meike and Paola (after Paola and I took a nap on the lawn) and now I can barely walk! My legs and bottom are so sore! What a good exercise! :D But then it started to rain and we went to eat to Chinese restaurant and after that we went to Java Juice to meet other international students and our global buddies. I was home at 10 pm but although I was tired, I was too hyper to go to sleep so I was awake until midnight and now I'm really tired. And Josh has been trying to reach me, every time he called me, I missed his call. I was in class or deaf. And I didn't even realize that it was he who had tried to call me! And then he tried to come and see me at home but I wasn't home :(

And about my phone. I got this AT&T prepaid thing where messages and calls cost 25c, both sending them and receiving (both of) them. So it's quite expensive but I thought that I wouldn't do so many calls nor that someone would call me. But I really don't want to buy any plans either because they're quite expensive and I can't have any other type than prepaid because I don't have the social security number. And it's so stupid that I really don't have service in Mayflower, so people can't call/send messages me and vice versa when I'm home. Sometimes when I put the phone on my pillow, there comes one block but that's all. So that's why I'm better reached via internet, and I'm actually all the time in internet when I'm home, so take this hint ;)

I'm looking forward to this weekend. I don't know why but I just do :) I want to go to some bar!

And I miss Tarmo. I really do. Badly. I dreamed of him last night and the night before that (and other one of them actually was That Kind of Dream ;) There are so many things I'd like him to see. There are so many people I'd like to introduce to him. There are so many things I'd like to tell him. And we do talk almost every day (at least we try to get a change to talk every day) and I do tell him everything but then again I can't remember everything I was supposed to tell him. And then I forget those things. I'd like him to hang around with me. I'd like to sleep with him. I'd just like to cuddle... That's the biggest thing I miss.
I really love being in here. I love Iowa City. So I really don't miss home (though I miss our bed), I just miss him. And of course I miss our kitties. I miss their purring and playing. I miss the thing that I just sit and I can feel someone passing me by and just touching my legs slightly. I miss the touch. The magic touch Tarmo has. The slight loving touch our kitties have too (if you are laying in the bed they just come sleeping against your back. I will alway remember the first night we had them, other one was sleeping in my armpit and other one was sleeping almost on my head and I could feel them breathing and my arms just went numb because they were so cute that I didn't dare to move). And that touch I can't have in here. I don't even want to have, I want that touch just from Tarmo. I do give hugs, I always give hugs. For both men and women. But it's not the same thing. I am touching person. I always touch people when I talk to them, especially when I'm exited and tell some hilarious things :D And even though I love hugging people, I can't receive long hugs, they're too loving and get me in tears. And I don't want to hug ALL the people in the world. I give hugs only to people I care. And I don't want strangers to hug me. That's just harassment.

Oh I really can see from this text that it's getting late and I'm getting tired. I always get so sentimental this time of the day. And I just miss Tarmo. And I like writing about it because it makes me feel better. And I prefer writing over talking because writing doesn't get me into tears as easily and I actually express myself better in this way. At least in English :) And I don't really feel so confident of my speaking. I know I can speak but it's just so much easier to write. My vocabulary is so much better when I write because I tend to use easy words because I'm too afraid to say the hard words wrong. Yes, I'm perfectionist. A tired one, so I'll go to bed now. Good night!

ps. We had a fire alarming today at Mayflower... We had to stop studying and go outside and couldn't continue studying because we were shocked, right Kaisa? ;)

Batman

There are no ghosts in here, at least ones who use my computer...

I had a nice weekend, on Sunday I went outside to read but it got too hot soon so I returned inside, read a bit more and then Meike called me if I'd like to go to the park. So I went and while Paola and Melissa were at the church we just hang around and when it got dark and the mosquitos almost ate us alive, we played batman. (Don't ask any questions about that.) After that we got an invitation by Melissa to have some dinner and Paola and I went to her place. There was also two other friends of Melissa and we had nice time. I advertised Finland ^^ And I was back home (again) at 2 am. But it was so much fun!

And by the way, three people have asked directions from me, local people! :D

We had a free day today so I read and read and just watched TV at Kaisas. And now I'm SO tired, I had to come home because I almost fell asleep at Kaisas. I still try to hang in here for another hour and then I go to bed.

I had so many things I was supposed to write but because I'm so tired, I can't remember what they were... I just try to keep awake...

Ghosts

My network was working the very next day though it was very slow... :P I assume that they noticed that it was their mistake. And Paola and Meike cheered me up when I came that day back home.

Ashleigh: "Paola called again, she sounded like you really should call her back."
Me: "Omg what have happened??"
*calls Paola and Meike
Paola: "Taina! I need a Hello Kitty band aid!" *sobs*
Taina: "What has happened???"
Paola: *sobs* "I lost a button from my skirt..."
...

It was so hilarious! Because it was the same button we already sew few weeks ago. Ashleigh came to see if I was crying or laughing because I laughed so much :D And the next day I was supposed to try to connect this wreck to the wireless but then I noticed that it was working again.

And I had to drop the Graduate Immunology course, it was way beyond me... After the first 15 minutes of the second session I thought that ok, this is it. I can't do this. I couldn't understand a bit what they were talking about and yet still I was forced to talk with them. So now I have Animal Behavior instead. :) And I really didn't expect this to be this hard. I mean I'm only positively surprised, the education in here is really good and the professors are great! (I love my endocrinology professor, he's hilarious, in the end of one session he said "Oh, I'm so sick" :D and that describes it all!) And I really need to read all the time for the courses. But it's good, it keeps me busy. Someone said that the University of Iowa is one of the top universities in US. And it really feels like that.

Last Friday I was in a such a good mood, I talked with my parents (and aunt because she's in Finland because of funeral of their mothers brother, I said all our relatives are dying! :( ) and with Tarmo! And I cried a bit when I heard Tarmos voice because it had been a while when I had heard it last time. But I just was so happy :) And I also saw him via webcam! On Friday we went to Q bar and there was this amazing band; Minus Six! I didn't drink that much that night (3 margaritas, $3 a piece) because I was in front of the stage most of the night :) And after the night we got ride home. Yesterday we went to the Coral Ridge Mall and I bought some things from Victoria's Secret again ;) And I was supposed to buy some nice skirt but I couldn't find one... all there was was mini skirts and mini shorts... So I bought a jacket for Fall and it was only $60 and similar one at other shop was $200! After shopping we went to see Nanny Diaries in to the cinema and it was nice. we bought this huge bucket of popcorns and couldn't even finish it (there were four of us eating it!). When we came back there was this big family of black people (and even though I tell this story, I'm not a racist :) and it was so funny because all the older kids were messing around while the little ones were sitting nicely. In Finland it's the other way around :D And there was this cute little girl who sat next to Paola and chatted with her. She reminded me so much of my nieces sister Laura (she's also black) :) Oh yeah, and when I was heading to the Mall there was this elder black man who came to me when I was going to the bus and said Oh you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, I would like to get to know you, I live in Coralville, maybe you could come and visit me ans we could chat... And he smelled a bit of alcohol and it was kind of awkward. Luckily I could get away from him when the bus came. And weird enough, Ashleigh told this same story when she came to the Mall! :D

After the movies we came back home and Kaisa helped me with my computer and we formated it. And it's so much faster now :) Though we had to wait a bit and while waiting we watched Tyttö sinä olet tähti and The Butterfly effect. I liked both of them but I was really impressed about the latter one. It was so good, distressing but still very good. So I came home at 2 am and went straight to bed. I just left my laptop on the table (sideways) and didn't do anything more with it. And here are ghosts! Because when I woke up an hour ago, my laptop was on it's right place (and I did put it SIDEWAYS) and it's lid was open (I left it closed) and the network cable was connected... And our doors were locked... Ashleigh was awake for a while in the morning, I have to ask her if she did something... But this is a bit scary :F

Today we're going to go outside read because it should be a good weather :)

And it seems that I still can't upload any pics... And I tried to find some video of Minus Six but couldn't find a decent one...