Culture Shock

Ystavan sanoin:

Normaaleissa sivistysvaltioissa olet syyton kunnes toisin todistetaan, taalla olet syyllinen kunnes toisin todistetaan.

I got an e-mail: the interned guy can't see you next Wednesday, please call or meet the secretary to reschedule the meeting.

So in my luck I will not get the appointment next week. Fuck them!

Luckily I get away from here for the weekend. As I said to Tarmo, it's good that I figured out these systems (and how they don't work) now and not then when we're moving in here. I'm starting to think that I want to be poor my whole life and stay in Finland. US is nice place but these systems don't really work. I can understand the university policies, people in here are really stupid and they need supervision, but I've lived on my own long enough to know how to behave. I don't need people to pamper me or act like I was a child. The thing that I'm an exchange student and not always able to express myself quickly does not mean that I'm stupid.

These little things get me down... And Tarmo is not feeling well either so I feel sad about that... I can handle my "depression" by working and sleeping but the thing that I can't help Tarmo makes me want to cry.

My connection wouldn't be that important to me but it's the only way I can keep in touch with Tarmo, my parents and mother in law. I can't show my feelings (i.e. cry) in public places so that's why I don't want to talk to my mom or Tarmo in our ITC lab. It's not that I'd just cry all the time but I need to be able to cry sometimes when I feel like crying. And we haven't set up any actual times (especially with my mom since we both have a life too) when I'm at computer and when she's at computer so that we can talk. It's just once a week coincidence that we happen to be there at the same time.

I know that I'm in culture shock now (it came a bit late though) and I miss people badly but don't worry, I'm not going to give up!

---
6 hours later...

I feel better already because Tarmo is feeling better :) I wasn't early enough home so I couldn't re-schedule my appointment, I have to go there tomorrow morning before coming here. I still need to do my laundry but all the machines were taken and I need two machines so I'll wait for few hours. Luckily it takes only a bit over hour to get the laundry clean and dry.

But I'll go for a walk with Kaisa...